Tired to the 9th

The next nine in line is the 9 of Fire (Wands). Fire is the action suit. The suit represents growth, creativity, energy, clear perception, enlightenment, passion and desire. All things positive, right? Certainly not going to argue that. However, the 9 card is a little cautionary:

9fire

Tired yet? Yes, it’s a little exhausting just to look at that card. So many things, so many constructs surrounding the poor tired man in the middle (for some reason, this figure always reminds me just a little bit of Al Pacino, who to me, often looks tired). In Greer, the 9 of Fire/Wands is about wisdom, discipline from experience, independence, dedication to a cause, strength and persistence of purpose, but also about defensiveness. I think that certainly comes forward in the above illustration.  I am learning that it’s great to be independent and call on your past experience, but sometimes, holding everyone off and not asking for help when you need it, building walls to keep people away from you, can really make you tired. It’s exhausting to be “fine” all of the time.

In addition, the card is also about how we allow our set schedules to keep the chaotic and spontaneous out of our lives. I can’t tell you how this just hit me, right this minute. Let me illustrate. There’s a food blogger and culinary historian that I’ve become interested in who is going to be speaking at CU Boulder this coming Thursday. That alone is kind of a miracle, because about 99.9% of everything I’m interested in happens on weekends when I’m working, and I’m off on Thursday. I could go see him. Boulder is about 150 miles away, so it would be an undertaking, but certainly not a huge problem since I have a working car and the ability to get there. However, as soon as I saw this, I started making excuses. “E has Upward Bound and he’s in school till 5 p.m.” Okay, find him a ride. “What about dinner?” Okay, auntie or whoever picks him up will take care of that. “I’ll be home after midnight, most likely.” Okay, he can take a key and they can bring him home earlier. I mean, he’s nearly 16, he can be at home without me even into the wee hours.

As I have sat here writing this, I’ve decided to go to this event. In fact, I’m thinking I might just go up and spend the whole day in Boulder,  a place I’ve never really explored here in my own state. I can find someone to pick up E and get him home, and I certainly deserve to go and hear someone speak on topics I’m interested in, right? This man lives on the east coast and only via Twitter did I find out he was going to be in my area. Did I mention that I love Twitter? I really do!

So, let not the routine take you over. Let not the busy-ness that we impose on our lives allow you to forget what you love or what you’re interested in. Things will not fall apart just because I’m gone for an evening. E can take care of himself pretty well. The structure of the world order doesn’t depend on me being home at 5 p.m. That’s what makes you exhausted…not activity you love, but NOT doing activity you love in return for the hamster wheel of what you think you “should” do. That’s a lesson I need to keep learning, for sure.

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About GratefulGran

A little bit of this, a little bit of that...
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2 Responses to Tired to the 9th

  1. efrompdx says:

    That’s a lesson for all of us… thanks for calling it to my attention! 😉

  2. jill says:

    oh hear hear!!! have a great time…i had an exhaustion episode recently and it was a reminder that i had taken too much on. It actually was a wake up that what i could do 30 years ago really leaves me done now…sigh..love ya

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