Wherever You Go…

…there you are. And here I am. The big move was last Wednesday. It was quite an adventure. First, let me say that for the third time, I highly recommend Two Men and A Truck moving services. The two guys that came were pleasant, professional and prepared. And, in the end, though I budgeted for the high end of the estimate, the actual cost was about half that. And, they had to wait a bit for me because I had to come over here and sign the lease and do a walk-through while they were loading up. Great service.

So, adventure? Well, the first thing was that E’s bed was not going to survive the move. I was already pretty sure that was going to happen. I bought him a cheap captain’s bed with drawers maybe a year ago and while it served its purpose, it was clear that the thing wasn’t made to move once you put it together. I told the guys to just disassemble it and G was kind enough to let me put it in the trash area in the yard. The mattress was fine, though, so figure can get him a “regular” frame at some point…although now he’s thinking he might want a futon.

Okay, so everything else is on the truck and off we go across town. I’ve inspected the place and all seems well. Next adventure? The couch (not an oversized piece of furniture by any means) will NOT fit in the front door. Well. Yes, it went into the door, into the low-ceiling-ed, narrow hallway, but then they could NOT get it into the low, narrow doorway to the living room that is IMMEDIATELY after the front door. No turning room, no wiggle room, ceiling in the hall too low to stand the couch up vertically, which WOULD have worked (the rest of the ceilings are standard height, just the hallway is low). The apt. manager called the maintenance person, who told them to try to wedge it through the door, but the mover was hesitant because he had once bent an entire door frame doing that and the company had to replace it. I didn’t want that and I didn’t want the couch ripped to shreds, either, so I called G and of course she didn’t want the couch back (I think she always hated that couch, even though she never came out and said so). Thus, I made an executive decision and asked the movers if they would charge me to take the couch with them. They said no, so I explained to the guy about the couch (a custom-made, Flexsteel couch made at one of the local, i.e., expensive, stores here.) We bought it second hand, and definitely got the worth of what we paid out of it. After I explained that to him, he said he might take it himself. I said he was getting a SWEET deal. And so, one more thing from the past has passed out of my life. The day appeared to be an omen of that. Everything else came in fine, and I only took eleven of the twelve boxes! But, I have since gone back and gotten the other one, full of stuff from the kitchen that I just didn’t have the energy to pack last week.

And here we are. I like this place. It’s QUIET. I’m surprised at how quiet this neighborhood is, because there are a lot of apartments/duplexes, as well as single-family homes. I took a walk yesterday, just exploring around for a bit. It’s in an area of Pueblo that I know nothing about, so it’s almost like being in an entirely new city. One of the middle schools backs up right across the street from the complex, and I have access to their track, if I just want to clock some laps and not walk in the neighborhood. My friend D, who I met at parenting classes and has also undergone the dissolution of his marriage since then, lives about 5 minutes away. He and his boys came over for a little while on moving night, just to say hi. E has had a friend spend the night already. And I still have loads of stuff to unpack and each time I dive into a box, I ask myself, why did I bring this?

There’s nothing like moving for decluttering. I’m in my room now, where my office is set up, looking at stuff in the middle of the floor where I just told the guys to put it, trying to figure out where I ultimately want it to be. Of course, I’m thinking of G and how she would have had every, single item unpacked, washed, organized, dusted, put away and all evidence of any kind of a move whisked into the trash within about an hour of getting here. But that’s not me. I am taking my time and I refuse to feel guilty about it. MY place, MY stuff, MY time to unpack. Maybe I’ll keep everything, maybe I won’t. In the end, it only matters to me, anyway.

Oh, and if you are in the market for an extra bed or a casual piece of “furniture” for a kid’s room or something, I also highly recommend these. I ordered two of them, one for me, since I didn’t have a bed, and one as an extra for E’s room when friends come over for a place to sit or sleep. They are perfect. I’ve found mine quite comfy, it has no odor, and it’s definitely thick enough that I don’t notice I’m on the floor (until I have to get UP when I really have to pee…there’s a trick!). Definitely worth the price, in my book. Also, they come in these big duffel bag-like carriers, compressed in shrink wrap. Of course, they’ll probably never go back into those things, but you get a nice carryall bag out of the deal, too.

So, I’ve cooked a few meals, slept a few nights, worked a few shifts. I bit the bullet and went to a pawn shop on moving day and got E a TV because I had promised him that he could have the (one) TV we had in his room, but once we got here, the cable guy (more adventure) told me he couldn’t run the cable across a doorway and of course the cable outlet was in the living room. So, the main TV is in there, hard-wired to the cable, and E can connect to the Internet for his XBox games and Netflix, etc. If he wants to watch “regular” TV, he has to be in the living room, which works out, because it makes him have to be in there with me. My computer is working fine, no problems on the job, BUT my poor little phone only gets service intermittently throughout the space. It’s weird. Last night, one of my coworkers needed me to call her, so I had to go into the kitchen to do it, but then when I walked back to my desk, the call stayed on…however, I couldn’t MAKE the call from here. I’m thinking of switching to a new service in the near future and upgrading my phone, but I really want one with a QWERTY keyboard, and I haven’t seen any smart phones like that. It’s always something, right? Any recommendations, oh readers?

Overall, I am relieved and happy to be here. I haven’t spent a lot of time brooding about things. I haven’t been overwhelmed with loss or grief. The couple of times I’ve been back to the house to pick up things, it feels oddly like going to a complete stranger’s house. Maybe that will change, I don’t know. Maybe I went through all that (or most of it) before the decision to move was finalized. I do know one thing about myself–when I’m done with something, I’m done. And I feel SO done right now. It’s not a bad thing, it just is. I want to move forward and be happy. I don’t need to “process” this anymore. It was perfectly simple anyway. She didn’t want us there anymore, so we left. End of story. I’m not blaming her or me. Maybe under other circumstances we could have got around this situation, but I guess the obstacles were insurmountable. And our feelings had definitely changed. So, it’s all for the good. In a way, I’m grateful that E was here to sort of be a catalyst. Not blaming him, either, by any means, but I think if he had not been in the picture, we might have just withered and died a slow, painful demise rather than just get this over pretty quickly.

I know lesbians are great for being friends with their exes, but this is a whole new situation for me. I’ve only been in three really long-term relationships in my life, and two of my exes are now dead, and we didn’t have much of anything to do with each other after we split up anyway. So, once again, new territory. More places for baby steps.

So, right now, I’m going to do a little extra work (very grateful that I have a job that allows me to do extra pretty much any time I need to) and then work my last shift for the week tonight. Tomorrow is another day, Scarlett, and I’m planning on waking up happy.


About GratefulGran

A little bit of this, a little bit of that...
This entry was posted in Appreciation, Decisions, moving in, taking time and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Wherever You Go…

  1. I’m about three years out from moving into my own place and I STILL have regular moments of “oh, I don’t have to do that, I can do it this way instead!” It’s so wonderful to just think of yourself and the kiddoes.

  2. efrompdx says:

    This sounds perfect, GG. Pity about the couch, but if that’s the biggest regret in the move then you have done well. Isn’t it funny when you look at the things that you brought and wonder, why? When my friend moved in with me after living in Spain for 5 years, she had stuff shipped. When it all arrived, she couldn’t believe that she had paid to move it across the world. I guess it just goes like that…

    On the phone issue, I can tell you two things. First, with some carriers we couldn’t get reliable service inside our house. Who wants a phone where you have to go outside to use it? Not me. That was T-mobile. Verizon was ok. We now have Sprint and don’t have any service issues. Second, the phone itself. I have a Samsung Galaxy X3. It’s old! Over two years old, maybe 3! BUT! The electronic keyboard is qwerty and it has the finger swipe method of ‘typing’. Do you know what I mean? There may be an actual name for it… You put your finger on the letter and spell the word by traveling from letter to letter. I like it. Check it out online.

    I am glad for you that you feel comfortable in your new space. A little envious, too. Keep being yourself, my dear, and things will continue to trend upward.


  3. I am so very glad to know you are in your own place now, settling in at your own pace, and in a location that allows for some discovery and new experiences. As moving traumas go, you seemed to get off lightly. Hope you and E will find the rest of your path through transition smooth and calm. You need some calm in your life, and I happy to know that you’ve achieved quietude as well. Hugs & Love!

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