After my long Tarot-inspired rant last week, I decided that I would use Tuesdays to put up the Tarotscope messages and how/if they apply. It’s also a good way to get me to write more than a dozen words in a row, a win/win in a lot of ways.
This week’s cards have a completely different message (not surprising) and I have a completely different feeling this week than last. I’ve also begun delving in to Susun Weed’s book about menopause, looking at herbal things, and trying to get 15 minutes of sunlight on my eyelids every day, plus taking some B12 and D vitamins. Overall, I’m feeling a bit better physically, mentally, emotionally.
Let’s get started. I’m still using Tarot For Your Self (TFYS) for the general meanings/interpretations, and I’m still using both the Taurus and the Scorpio Tarotscopes because they work so well together for me, and I’m using the Oshos Zen cards/names. I’m nothing if not eclectic
This week’s Taurus: Ace of Water (Cups) – Going With the Flow. The card shows a figure just sort of back-floating in the water, relaxed and let go. I can so totally relate to that, as lying on my back in the water after a long swim is one of my favorite things to do. Honestly, sometimes I think I could just go to sleep like that. Good thing I’m naturally bouyant.
Cups represent emotions, relationships, the subconscious, psychic and intuitive arts, as well as fertility, grace and serenity. I don’t know about you but that sounds lovely, especially the grace and serenity part. I’d love to get some of that.
The Tarotscope message says this card augurs a new emotional cycle (I’m down with that), and is a time when real gains can be made in regards to emotional fulfillment. It’s a chance to make a new start in connecting with others, which could mean new people to welcome or it could be fresh starts or new beginnings in previously troubled relationships. I’m hoping it’s a little bit of both, because new friends are always welcome and based on last week’s vent, you know I could use some of the latter. And speaking of which, we have plans to go for a long drive tomorrow after getting E to school to see some fall colors and visit some quilt shops. We are both really looking forward to that. TFYS says this card is about heart opening, which is interesting, because in my last post about being grateful for yoga, I mentioned that I felt my heart open a little during my last practice. I would like to keep the trend going. Aces do speak to beginnings, action ideas. That primary impulse, full of possibility. It’s nice to see some possibilities here for a change. I’d like to hang on to that.
Now for the questions:
What is making you feel good right now? I’ve been going for walks around lakes. That always makes me feel better. I’m sitting out in the sun more, not too long, but long enough to get the benefit of sunlight on my bare skin. I do think I can tell a difference. I’m working on being calm when I tell E that I won’t accept his attitude or that he has to do X before he can have Y. I am really working on putting the Love & Logic ideas that we learned in parenting classes into practice, not just with E, but with a lot of things. Not having to react immediately, to give myself time to think, and form a better response.
What would you like to do to indulge yourself? Spend a whole day reading a really good book. Lately, as I mentioned, I have been reading the unread books in the house. I lucked out with the first couple, and really enjoyed them. Then, I hit the wall with one that I really did not think I would be able to finish. It wasn’t bad so much as it was just blah. I finally finished that and now I’m reading a non-fiction book on an interesting topic, but I just want to be done with it and get back to my regular diet of British mysteries and spy thrillers. So, maybe I’ll do that next week. I also found out that on Tuesdays, I can go to the movies for five dollars! Yay five dollar movies on my day off! I’m so there.
Who or what is offering you nurturing or love? Well, I’d like to say G, but even at the best of times, she is not really a nurturing person. She’s not touchy/feely/huggy. I kind of am. This has nothing to do with sex, a subject that we just won’t broach at all. But she’s not going to sit down and put her arm around my shoulders and say, “Honey, are you okay, I’ve been concerned about you,” and pull me into a hug or anything like that. She’ll say she’s been concerned about me, but a lot of times, it comes out more like an accusation along the lines of, “Why aren’t you doing more to take care of yourself?” I know she means well underneath, but there’s a disconnect between her feelings and her delivery. And now, there have been some deaths in her extended family, and we’re dealing with that, and I get it. I do. It’s just that sometimes, I wish she would treat me as kindly and sweetly as she does the dog. She doesn’t have any trouble nurturing the dog. So, I guess in most ways these days (not that it can’t or won’t change), it is up to me to nurture myself, but that is not a bad thing to know how to do. I’m not complaining. So, a good book, a walk around the lake and a five dollar movie.
What messages are you receiving from dreams or visions? Last week’s dream wasn’t so great. I’ve been really sleep deprived this week, so no dreams…that I can remember. I would love to dream more often, but I think you require a baseline level of sleep in order for that to happen. I’m going to work on that, talk to myself before bed, ASK for a good dream. I loaned my MP3 player to E a while back and let him take it out of the house and it didn’t come back (another long story), so I’m going to look around the pawn shops and see if I can replace it. I miss it more than I thought I would. I had some drumming CDs that are good for lucid journeying, too.
What does your heart feel most open to? That is one hard question. My heart doesn’t feel real open right now…but I know it IS opening again. I know it can. I think I just have to continue with these good habits, maybe add some more to the list, and just continue to allow. I’m seriously thinking of having that phrase,”You can’t get it wrong and you never get it done…” on my left forearm where I see it every day. I might even want that more than my Alcatraz tattoo.
So, that was my Taurus card, Ace of Cups. Nice message, some nice reinforcement that what I’m doing just might be working a little bit. On to the Scorpio card:
The Fool – Major Arcana 0 – I love this card! Lots of people don’t, the think it’s really negative because it shows a guy in a harlequin outfit, holding out a flower, looking past the flower and stepping off a cliff…foolish man, not watching where he was going (kind of like texting and driving, right?). But he’s not falling off a cliff. He’s taking a leap of faith. He’s the beginning, the single step that carries you into an entirely different life or way of being. To be “foolish” like that is to have that open heart that I seem to be searching for.
Tarotscope meaning – There’s a new journey ahead, plans to make, new opportunities, new, new, new. It’s not comfortable for control-freaky types (been there), but putting yourself into new situations often requires the ability to make mistakes or look “like a fool” until you get the hang of it. I think of this card every time I start a new job and go into that learning curve…I remind myself that in six months, everything I am stumbling and falling over now will be old hat then, and I’ll be looking for something else to challenge me.
TFYS interprestation – Free-spirited. Carefree. Being open to experience. Spontaneity. Experiencing life from moment to moment, right here and now, and my favorite, “Expect the unexpected with this card.” And the questions:
In what area of your life are you operating entirely on faith and trust? That would have to be with E. I’m not a “helicopter” parent, although right now, knowing that he has not turned in 2 syllabi for 2 of his classes after we went through communication with his teachers about getting an extension (which he missed), it’s sorely tempting. Instead, I am trying to draw back, to allow him to rise to expectations. I have faith that he is a pretty smart young man. I trust that he will make mostly good decisions. I see him living up to his potential in many ways, his physical potential, his intellectual potential, his emotional potential. I want to look beyond all the crap that’s right in front of me now because that doesn’t really matter. I want to see the outcome that shows him to be the best person he could be for himself. Not for me, for him. That’s where I operate entirely on faith and trust.
Where are you going? If I knew that, I probably wouldn’t be writing this blog. My good friend Don once said the title of his autobiography would be, “Hopelessly Lost But Making Good Time.” I was SO mad at him for stealing my title. That really is how I appear to have lived my life. Or maybe, “I Can’t Seem to Get There From Here, But At Least I Know Where I Am.” That one is all me. Or even, “Above All, Don’t Stop For Directions!” Yeah, maybe that one.
What would be fun to do if you could do anything you wanted? Seriously? Someone is seriously asking me that question? I would find a flat in the UK, Scotland, probably, or maybe even Spain, and travel. First I’d just live there for about six months, get to know the neighborhood, the people, the pubs. Then I would venture out…a week here, week there, home for a couple of weeks and off again. Write, eat, photograph, talk to people. Travel light, and lighter. Learn languages. Visit homes, visit parks, walk around lakes, walk by rivers. What else would I need to do? A museum now and then. A flea market. Bookstores, but I’d rather find the libraries.
So, this week is apparently the week of the fresh start, of lying back in the cool water and letting the current take me where it will. You know when you get into a current, you have no control, right? So guess I better forget about controlling anything, just make sure I don’t bounce too hard off the rocks, which means I need good boundaries, but that’s just to keep me on course, not to try to make the flow go in a different direction. They are two quite different things and I need to keep that in mind.
Go with the flow. Take a leap of faith. Not too shabby.